I am not above posting photos of the boy on social media. I’ve tried to stop myself lately because I’ve become concerned about who might be looking at the pictures and ownership. Are they mine? Are they his? Are they Facebook’s? But I know also that family members and friends who live across the world do like to see how he’s growing and what bizarre thing he’s got up to today.
So when we got accosted in Boots by a woman touting a free photo session complete with free portrait and free balloon (Clever. The boy held onto that like fucking Charlton Heston with a shotgun) I thought it might be a chance to get some good shots to send to people for Christmas.
That was my first mistake. Not only did I have to pay a fiver but when I come back to collect the photos in two weeks, free suddenly becomes somewhere in the region of £200?!
My second mistake was thinking I might be getting nice shots. She had him posing with a Santa hat on, then leaning super casually on some books he could never – and hopefully would never – read, and worse. These photos are beyond cheesy. And from the brief glimpse I got at her computer, they aren’t good shots.
So I have decided to 1. Return in two weeks for my ‘freebutnotfreefree’ portrait and sack off the rest. 2. Resume posting photos on FB and Twitter because I made him and I took the photos so on the whole, they’re mine. And most importantly 3. Never go to a pop up photo studio again. Unless the props and backdrops are more natural. Or gothic horror. Like Poe for babies, or Edward Gorey does Peppa Pig, that’d be fucking awesome.